As the one who encouraged Britt to share her funny stories with us in this blog, I thought it only right to share the funniest story, to date, that has ever happened to me. I appreciate her letting me be the first guest blogger on her site and hope you enjoy this as much as I did. And still do. And will forever. Because I will never let Duke live this down.
It was a typical Friday night, about five years ago if not a little longer and Duke and I were getting ready to go downtown to meet up with friends. I had been texting Lisa Hurst back and forth about where we were going, when we would meet, who else is coming…you know the routine. I had the new iPhone and was excited to play with it and all its new features. So was Duke even though he didn’t really know how to work all the apps or games.
Anyway, he’s patiently waiting for me to finish getting ready and I remember walking out to the patio to ask him how I looked in whatever outfit I was wearing that night. He’s got my phone in his hand and says, “I did something really bad." He’s turned white as a ghost and is staring at me with a look on his face I’ve never seen before. I’m thinking that he deleted apps or contacts or dropped and broke my new phone or something of that magnitude. I say or yell rather, “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PHONE?” and grab it out of his hands. He says he decided to text something to Lisa. “What the hell did you text to Lisa that’s so bad?”
**Ding Ding** I get a text at that moment and ask him to tell me what I’m in for.
He says, “I was just being funny and typed out to her 'I love to rub sweaty ballbags across my forehead over and over again'”. I laughed and said, “you’re a jackass, let me see what she’s texting back”. But he stops me and says, “but the message didn’t go to Lisa, it went to your mom!! And now I’ve been trying to delete it and it made that whoosh sound and I know it’s gone and I can’t get it back." See, in between texting with Lisa, my mom texted something to me and was the most recent name in the texting cue, which Duke hadn’t noticed.
I lost it! I laughed so hard I think my neighbors heard me. I literally fell on the couch with stomach pains knowing that my 'funny-man' sent a lewd text to my Mom about wanting sweaty ballbags on my forehead. “So let’s see what Mom has to say about that funny-man.” I looked at my phone and Mom writes back “what are BALLBAGS?” Now I’m even more hysterical because I somehow have to explain what a ballbag is to my mom. So I call her. She’s at dinner with my dad, in a fancy restaurant, and I hear my dad laughing in the background because she’s obviously read him the text by now. And then she starts to laugh because she realizes, FINALLY, what a ballbag is. My folks were great sports about the whole thing and even toasted at the next family gathering to 'sweaty ballbags.' LMAO!!
While Duke was completely mortified by what had taken place, there was a part of me that was happy. This was precisely what he needed to teach him a lesson about playing with other people’s stuff. And from that moment five years ago, he has never touched my phone again.
Lesson of the day: Always double-check who you're sending sweaty ballbags to!
